"I wrote this on December 11, 2004 after the passing of my father, Donald Reynolds. Thank you  to Pat Little for finding the story I thought was forever lost.  The song, "The Guardians from Devoted spirits "The Answer", was inspired by the events that occurred in the story below. They were the voices I heard as I said goodbye to my father. Let the voices of  "The Guardians" be an inspiration to us all."

Sheldon

As I walked up the aisle of the seemingly large chapel I could

hardly lift my head. I had not slept that night before for my

spirit and body where fighting inside to make room for the strength

I would need at sunrise and sunset.

Making the two-hour journey to the airport before sunrise in a cold

airport shuttle van with a driver who spent most of his time

cursing over the intercom to his employees set the tone for a dark

day. A momentary glimpse of one of God's great lights rose from the

ocean nearby saying "I am with you today, I am with you." Being

extraordinarily checked at the airport seemed today to be Satan's joke

on the pain of what I had to face this day. But God allowed again

for the security people to have a heart when they asked me about my

reason for this destination. During the very bumpy 2-hour flight

and landing, Satan seemed to be rejoicing at the fear looming around my

spirit but then God set the plane down softly and again showed He

was with me. As I drove the 45 minute drive to a place I had never

known where I had come to say goodbye to a man I wanted so much to

know better, the rain began to blind my view more and more. Clusters

of trucks rambled around me with blinding splashes that in any

other setting would have been a terror. But the goal of this day

was greater than the joke of the evil one. And God sent a phone

call from my beloved cousin Perry whose faith in the most high far

surpasses most of us. His voice and words were like a great angel

helping to lead the way and provide even more strength I need now.

The day had began so sunny and bright yet now as I approached the

end of the freeway the rain played its song like dark force dripping

in the name of sadness. I drove by the destination one time because

of a momentary lack of strength. Then I turned the car around and

came back and pulled up to the large building that I found very

beautiful. Not dark and scary like many of these type of places

usually are. It had a feeling of love in its architecture. But as

I parked the rain began to pour down in big drops. But I refused to

rush my step, as Satan would have me do. When I entered the lounge

a lady greeted me and sent the man I had spoken with to walk me

into the chapel. As he and I walked I felt as if I was walking in

wet sand with boots filled with water for this was the walk I had

tossed and turned in nightmare for so many years finally arrived in

reality. As we reached the entrance to the chapel I took one

glimpse and behold I could not erase what I didn't want to see. In

that glimpse I saw my father lying in his coffin seeming as far

away as he is now. We walked for what seemed an eternity up the

aisle till finally the moment arrived.

As I stood over him the last words I could say to the man were "can

I be alone now". I could not imagine I had the strength to stand

before death alone but even through the immense shaking of my body

and the tears the rushed from my eyes I knew I could do this. God

had granted my last wish. To have a moment of peace with my father.

Though all I had before me was a shell of someone now gone on to

what I prayed later was into the hands of God still I had to see

him one last time, even if only a shell.

My heart burst and my eyes blurred. My legs nearly gave out and my

mind wanted me to scream. But the great god I follow held me up and

as the room swirled with death and evil wishing to cause fear a

greater set of friends moved them out of the chapel. As I have

known all throughout my life I heard the voice and felt the

presence of the representatives. They come, I believe, to provide

Gods protection and strength when we are in need. It may be one or

many depending on the need. At this moment I could feel many

numbers who were as I can see with my spirit blocking the spiritual

doorway from Satan's friends. He was locked out at my request to my

God. He had been blocking the way of my relationship with my dad

for most of my teen and adult life but now as I had spiritually

stomped my foot and summoned all goodness into the room I could now

speak to my father. Both of them.

I gazed at him and beheld his lifeless body before me. I spoke to

him in the tongue of god and allowed my love for him to beg my

eternal father to let him in to the eternal house in spite of the

pain he had left his son with. I spiritually shouted to my god

please give him passage to you for deep in him I who was most hurt

by him still know he had tried to find his way to you in the end.

Let him be loose from Satan's final chance on him. Let him not be

lost in the second death of hell. My God my God my love for him,

can it not be enough to pay his way to your grace.

I then could feel the room glow in the spirit of goodness. I had

come so far to say goodbye but my mission was not to say that at

all. It was my love and my prayer that would be the testimony that

my father who is in the land of god would now hear as god showed

him who his son was and how much his son loved him. I could hear

the eternal say" because of the love of your son, my grace will be

given unto you. The most high said that no love is greater than the

love I have created between earth and the creation and all that I

have created. Blessed are they who are loved by and give love from

the source of truth. The eternal spirit. Then I could hear the

objection of the evil one. He spoke of all the imperfections of I

and my father as humans. But the representatives silenced his

voice. Be gone and be silent, they spoke in the most beautiful unison.

I spoke to my God. My father I can not hate this man. He breathe

life into me when I almost died as a child. he did find moments

that I will treasure as good for all my life. Above all of his less

than fatherly actions I come today to forgive him and ask you to

allow him grace as we all need from you. I turn over the love I

have had for this man I knew as my earthly father to you to pay the

debt for his passage into your arms and I ask you to give him what

his son always wanted him to know and to know from him. Eternally

unconditional love.

I then sat before my dad and reflected for nearly two hours on the

good moments and bad of our life. I wrote down my prayer for him

and placed it in his suite to take with him. I then heard the

representatives say to me. All is done Sheldon you must now turn

and walk away. He is in good hands and your love for him is known

to the most high of all. Go now and be with your wife and family

and your mom who love you enough for all that was missed here. Your

dad found us the best way he knew how and had been forgiven

already. The blessing god will provide has still to be earned but

in the end your dad will be fine. Now take one last look but hold

your head high now for you have done a good thing. You have also

witnessed the grace and strength of the almighty for he cleared a

path for you to spend this last time with your dad alone. No evil

was allowed in the chapel from earth or the spirit realm. Your path

was cleared by the son of man him self who is one with his father

and could hear your cry. No rain no plane no pain could stop the

hand of the eternal flame from providing the path and strength you

needed this day.

At that moment I placed my hand out before my father and with

eternal mind spoke to him in words I cannot explain but understand

to be more true than any I have ever spoken in he earth realm. I

took one last look at him and smiled. I turned and walked the long

walk out of the chapel with the wish to turn back and look again.

But the representatives held my head to walk forward. What is done

here is finished. Blessed be all that are in this room for the will

of the Eternal good was carried out today.

So as the sun set and I made the nearly 5 hour flight to my home I

was filled with moments of unbearable pain but given peace for I

walk away with no shame. I gave him all I could even on the last day.